Stinking Patrick Miller

So I got this email the other day from Patrick Miller. He said, essentially, "Hey Kemp, I was wondering if you wanted to talk about being an RA." I read, "Kemp, I think you'd make a good RA." I was planning on writing him a nice email letting him know that I was not planning on applying for a couple of reasons, but as I composed the email, I found myself actually thinking about it more.

So now I'm thinking about it more.

Reasons not to be an RA:

• I would have plenty of time to do theatre.
• I would have plenty of time to work at my new major. Film takes quite a bit of time to work at, so I'm told.
• I think I'm a better leader when I don't have a title. When I informally lead a group, say a Bible study or otherwise, I do it out of love and desire to do it. When I formally have a title, say Sherpa, my job is done like a job. It is no longer about love and desire, but about responsibility and obligation. As a Sherpa this year, I have felt more obligated to build really strong relationships with my Sherpees and guilty when I don't feel I am making an impact on their lives. I would much rather just love people because that's what I do. As an RA, I would be obligated to spend time with each of the men in my section. If I didn't have as strong relationships with some as I did with others due to my lack of pursuit of a relationship, I would feel terribly guilty.
  
• I don't like planning activities. I don't think I would dig coming up with section sneaks or section activities.
  
• I don't like having to report on conversations or do paperwork on students or any of the other nasty yuck RAs have to do.
• There's always that annoying fear that I won't be able to connect to the guys in my section. I just don't connect with some people, and I'd be afraid to have a section full of them.

Reasons to be an RA:

• Well, the pay is pretty nice. I know it's not exactly fair if you break it down by hour, but really, it's quite a hefty sum for a semester.
  
• It would look great on a resume.
  
• My RA was huge to me as a freshman in college. (Granted, that's probably because he was my suitemate and we had lots in common, but still...) I would have the opportunity to be that guy to others.
  
• I don't think I'd be terrible at it. Others seem to have great confidence in my ability to do it and have a positive impact.
  
• I kinda want to do it in a weird, masochistic kind of way, and junior year really would be the best time to try. I don't want to look back and say, "Man, I wish I would have been an RA."
• Is my self-assessment of my leadership really all that valid? (This can be an interactive question.) Would I still reach out to people if I didn't "have" to, or would I just turn into apathy? Is a leadership position something I have to have in order to funtion?

And then there's that whole God thing. I don't really want to be an RA, I think, but what if he knows better? I don't think he'd ask me to do something that I don't have much interest in doing, but then there's the example of the prophets and others who have asked God to find someone else.

And all this came about because I was trying to respond to Patrick Miller's rather simple email (that I have since found out was prompted by Mike Coon...). Stinking Patrick Miller.

P.S. I'm thinking I'll be good to not be an RA. If CUSG's flyers mean anything to me ("Be the Change you want to see!"), I should keep going in to Leadership Journey. Sirdars have little to nothing to do with curriculum or anything that I'd want to change. In fact, they are going to become general student orientation coordinators. Lame.