URGH!

Half-Life 2 does not - repeat - does not have a good story.

There is no motivation. No character. A plot that in the first 4 hours is totally absent. I have no idea why I'm running through a city full of alien zombies.

The most frustrating thing is that my progress is blocked by a chain link fence. Not just a chain link fence, either. A partially knocked down chain link fence. A chain link fence that I could crawl up. A broken chain link fence is stopping me, Messiah and war hero Gordon Freeman, from escaping the psycho alien zombie creatures from eating my flesh.

Come on, level designers, could it at least have been a locked wooden door? Even a chain link fence with barbed wire would make more sense.


That felt good. I needed to rant a bit against popular opinion there for a bit. A more intelligent engagement with Half-Life 2 and Gordon Freeman will show up on my game blog within a few days (theoretically).

Setbacks

I thought I would chronicle my setbacks of yesterday. I've found it very healthy to retell them. I figure that way I will continue to view them simply as setbacks and I will learn more from them.

I called the division chair at Ferris State University who is in charge of their game design program. He didn't pick up, so I left a message explaining a bit of who I am, that I want to take some classes at Ferris, and for him to call me back to talk about it.

Right after that, I decided to go pop in on Dave Anderson's office, just to see if he was there.
(He's the guy on campus that teaches story for video games at Ferris.) He happened to have been in his office, so I explained to him what I was trying to do at Ferris. Ultimately, he kind of skirted around telling me that it was highly unlikely to happen - at least, not without enrolling at Ferris quite separately.

So, one idea shot down. No big deal.

I continued to tell him that I also had an idea for an independent study course that would teach me video game design stuff. I told him that it would be a kind of guided reading course where I would read design books and articles, play some video games, and write some papers applying what I learn in the books to the games. Perhaps the culmination of the course would be in writing up a design document for an original game.

Now, as an aside here, my understanding of independent study courses was that they were just that. The professor who was tied to it was kind of a formality - someone who would check on you every once in a while, read your papers, and make sure you were making progress. This was not Dave Anderson's understanding. Apparently, independent study professors are supposed to have some kind of expertise in the field of study. So, he told me that he would be unable to help me (in a round about kind of way, though).

So that's two major ideas for my education shot down. Drats.

I was whining about this to Leesa Lehmann and she suggested talking to Perini. After all, he does design games. So I talked to Perini, who was much more helpful. He said that he would be open to it next Fall semester, as long as I got together as many resources as I could (books, syllabi, project rubrics). One of his suggestions was to email my future grad school department chair and ask him for suggestions.

So that's only one and a half ideas. That's good.

The last thing that really got to me was that I told the CEO of the company I'm trying to intern for that I would get him a resume by Tuesday. I stayed up til 3:00 in the morning to finish it, and, for the most part, it was finished.

That experience alone taught me a ton. Like the importance of a cover letter.

Tuesday kept going and I had still not put the finishing touches on the resume. It wouldn't take too long. But then I realized that I should type up a cover letter (they're a bit complicated...). Ultimately, I didn't send the resume until 10:00 Tuesday night with only a brief cover letter. I know that I still got it to him on Tuesday, but the implication was that I would do so in the workday. My not doing that small task on time may have shaken his confidence in my ability to do more important tasks in a timely manner.

This may not break my chances at that company, though (I think he's pretty desperate). If it does, I've learned a ton. I've updated my resume, learned about cover letters, and applied to a company - a step I've never quite undertaken before.

I can now take everything I'm learning to Silicon Knights, the Canadian game developer I would love to work for. I should definitely have a cover letter for that...

So that's that long story. Sorry bout that.

I am frustrated.

I just want to be a video game designer. That's it. No more of this silly school stuff. Just let me have a team that shares my vision, some time to get better influences, and some money and let me design video games.

If you have any interest at all in video games, you should read and understand as best you can this article. Then, you should proceed to get just as passionate about it as I am and decide to do what you need to do to be on my team some day.

Currently, there are these positions:

• Programmer(s) with a passion for programming, but with wide influences
  
• Artist(s) with a passion for 3D modeling, concept art, and visual storytelling with wide influences
• Business folks with a passion for the video game industry, but with wide influences
• Investor(s) with little expectation for success but deep pockets. Must believe in vision and trust the creatives.
• Writer(s) with a passion for storytelling, video games, and being a part of video games becoming art. Must have wide influences.
  
• Lawyer(s) with a passion for law and experience and passion for the entertainment art industry

And the best part of all? No previous experience in the industry is required!

Soon...