So there I was, at the Zach Vinson/Tide/Some other band concert... I was surrounded by all these trendy people and suddenly felt the desire to update my blog. So here I am. Doing it.
No one even checks this thing anymore, I bet. At least, no one besides Rachel and maybe Michael just to spite me.
I think Mass Media is going to be the death of me. (For those of you who are just joining us, Mass Media in Society is a class I'm taking.) Today, Professor Anderon talked about the need for people to go into the movie industry to change it. People that have a drive to make a difference there. He said that he hoped that this class would provide the opportunity and drive and connections necessary for some Cornerstone students to make a difference in the media industries. That's what he views as his mission. He almost cried, I think. And so did I.
Since I was young, all I ever wanted to do was make video games. It started as an interest, something that I thought would be cool. In third grade, I drew out Mario world levels for cryin out loud! By 7th grade, I was trying to make up Zelda games. In 8th grade, I started what would be my first original world. Since then, I've given spare moments of thought to developing that world and the characters in it.
When I started out with video games, I only cared about the Marios and Zeldas, fun little games with little deeper meaning, but as I got older, I found depth in the Final Fantasy series and other RPGs. I went from just wanting to make games to wanting to make games that are deep and throughtful, with character development, a moving plot, and themes that are thought provoking and possibly even challenging. I wanted to tell life as it is through the medium of a world that isn't. I wanted to deal with real life complexities through virtual living. (And not in a creepy, "let's all play World of Warcraft all day" kind of virtual living.) I wanted to create video games that are counted art as much as literature or film.
But my life has not led me down this path. I love people (something that is compatible with every profession), and I feel compelled to do something about it. I love teaching the Bible. I love using my spiritual gift (shepherding, for those who don't know). I think God has opened up many more doors to develop these gifts and callings than he has for video games. I was given the chance to speak to a 70 student (maybe?) youth ministry on a Sunday morning as a junior in high school. God used a small group I started to affect 20 or more people for him, drawing them closer and deeper into relationship with our God. I've been given a charge to shepherd a group of 13 freshmen. Tons of my friends, mentors, and acquaintances have given me very positive feedback about my skills as a future youth pastor. God has really been good to me.
Coming back to my original assertion (that Mass Media is going to be the death of me), when I leave that class, I feel inspired to be a game designer again. I feel the powerful tug to tell stories that cause people to think and be changed. I start thinking about my dreams and my plans, hoping that God will use a class project to lead me back to game design. I start thinking that it would be okay to be a volunteer in a youth ministry, to have a small group, to still affect positive change on adolescents with my spiritual gift (and besides, how cool would it be for a high school student if their small group leader designed video games?). I could do that. I would be happy. It would be the best of both worlds. Mass Media makes these thoughts go through my brain and makes me dissatisfied with where I am and where I think God is leading me.
I'm so thankful for the peace that I still have that I'm in the right place, though. Over the summer, God gave me this massive peace, like he was saying, "It's okay, Kemp. You're supposed to be at Cornerstone. There's something there you need to have before you leave and you don't have it yet." I still have that peace. Without that, I'd be pulling out my hair.
That is why Mass Media is going to be the death of me.
8 comments:
I don't want to be a voice that tells you something that you really didn't want to hear. But I feel as if there are some things that need to be said and told. Once upon a time, I wanted to act. Yes, this is still a massive reality, but at that time I wanted to act with Muskegon Civic Theatre. Because I relied on my parents for transportation and they pretty much determined where i went and their permission needed to be asked of for everything, they promptly told me that I could not do it. This was the reason why: they did not want me around thespians who drank, smoked, swore, had to change in front of eachother, who were brash and rude and "not the best sorts of people to associate with". A sharp pain grew in my heart. I had always been told to be a light, to be salt and all those other metaphores we christians use. I wanted to be an example of Christ's love and I wanted to do it through theatre. The passion only grew and grew. I was supposed to be in medicine of some kind. A therepist, to be specific. Then I took a step closer to a communications degree, then i realized i was kidding myself and God by not following what had been weighing on my heart since that day my parents told me no.
Kemp, I'm a strong believer of "follow your heart" and in this case, I think you can do both. You can game and you can shephard. Video games have been in your head.. well.. practically forever. I see you getting excited whenever the topic comes up, I see the smile on your face. and Dave Anderson IS right, we need more people in these industries making a difference. No longer can we sit idlely ... and if it makes you feel any better, i teared up too when he spoke on this topic.
Kemp ... oh Kemp ... I cannot tell you what to do, or even what you should do. But as a very wise friend once told me; "God did not give us passions to be used as hobbies".
Teach the Bible, mentor, shephard, love those around you, and create video games while doing it.
Funny... i could have skipped everything and just said that previous sentence. ~shrug~ oh well.
Blessings Kemp
I find it amazing how God can unite conflicting passions into an incredible reality. My dad didn't know what he wanted to do. He wanted to teach, to be engaged in spiritual warfare, to be a missionary, to use his Spanish, to travel to other countries. He didn't know how he was going to do all those things he was passionate about. His current job is hard to explain (he works with people transitioning out of cults, but there's more to it), but it encompasses all of the things he wanted to do. He didn't even know that the job he now has existed until he got it.
I have so many conflicting (often impractical) desires and passions that if I didn't know that God was in control, that he chose those specific passions for me for a reason, then I would be, as you said, "pulling out my hair."
All I know is that God is going to use you. And I think you know that too.
And I also know that even though you don't know how it's going to work, he will give you the desires of your heart.
Will I comment to spite you or are you referring to just Michael with that statement? I read and comment because I don't see you much anymore... I don't see most people much anymore... and when I do see you, there isn't much time to state what's on the mind and heart.
Well, pretty much what needs to be said has already been said very well by two very good young women of God. I live with one of them. ^_^
Um.... Thanks for finally updating. ^_~
It will work out in the end. Somehow.
~*~ Rad
i do find it amusing that the two people that you said still read this have not commented... i think it's on purpose.
Look again CJ....
~*~ Rad
Mortimer didn't show that Rachel commented when i made my comment. Bad Mortimer!
~shrug~ :-) oh well...
Kemp, Mass Media may not be the death of you.. maybe, just maybe, it will be the opposite.
So there was this one time when I had a friend who said I might check out his blog out of spite, and yes while I may be spiteful about certian things, this is not one of them, if you must know, I check it more out of boredom than anything, but on the comment.
I really have nothing all that significant to say. All I really have to say is this :D
*Chuckles at CJ*
*Pokes Michael*
~*~ Rad
Post a Comment