But then again, we can't choose the lessons we learn, can we?

So I was reading a friend of mine's online journal thing and I thought: "I haven't updated mine in a long while. I might want to do that." Here goes:

I'm a film major now. I'm hopefully going to go to graduate school at the Florida Interactive Entertainment Academy for their video game production track. So that's that part of life.

The semester was long and short. Looking back, I feel like I kind of wasted it. I can't think of anything really meaningful that I did. I didn't really make any attempts to reach out to other people. I just kind of putzed along, focused on my studies, and tried to get by. I don't really like "getting by." I'd much rather have all kinds of excess to give to other people. But then again, I suppose most people would like that.

I'm going to try to use this break for what it's meant for: rest and rejuvination. One of my friends reminded me that this break should be used for retreating into God again and recharging my relationship with him. It was a good reminder.

Last Christmas break was really rough for me. I was really dark and depressed. I felt far from God. I questioned my salvation. I don't want this break to be like that. On the same token, if it is, how well will I stand under the pressure? Last year I learned that I am a Christian. I am devoted to Yahweh, no matter what. I came to a point where I told him, "You know, God, if I could I would renounce you and live as the world does. I would stop calling myself a Christian. But I can't do it." I know it to be true. I cannot do any other way of life. Even if I tried, I would know the whole time that there is something out there, someone out there who could fill me up. that was a good lesson to learn, but I'd like to learn this break how to pour out into people again.

But then again, we can't choose the lessons we learn, can we?

That was so deep, I had to give it its own paragraph. **insert filler sentence here so I don't give this sentence its own paragraph**

So I'm home now. And that's about it. I don't have many friends here, but I can make some new ones at work. I'm going to spend some time reading and maybe writing and definitely memorizing lines for some play that I'm in...

And I have to stop thinking about certain subjects. Not because these subjects are inherently bad, but because I think I've been glorifying them a bit too much. I've been saying, "Well, things will be better when..." and that kind of scratches contentment with right now off. So I've got to stop thinking about that subject and count on God to work it out instead of me. Man, I'm such a control freak.


I made my deep comment the title of this little entry. I think that's neat.

I'm leaving now.