Fear.

It's late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. Either way, I won't be able to sleep if I don't write something and the evening has been filled with other... activities.

I was reflecting on something in the shower today that I thought I'd try to spit up in a readable form for you all. I've been reading Genesis and I recently read the story where Abraham goes into Abimelech's kingdom. When they get there, Abraham is afraid that the men will hurt him on account of Sarah's beauty. Perhaps they would kill him to get her. So instead, he tells them that she is his sister - not a complete lie we find out, but still a strong deception. Turns out that Abimelech isn't that bad of a guy. When he finds out about the "mix-up," he quickly remedies the situation. God had it in control from the beginning.

Jump two generations later: Jacob is returning to Canaan to meet Esau again. But Esau is coming to meet him with 400 men. Jacob makes all kinds of crazy plans to ensure his survival, but in the end, Esau bears no great ill will against Jacob. God had it in control from the beginning.

What stuck out to me in both of these stories was the theme of fear. Both Abraham and Jacob were afraid of what was waiting for them at their destinations. For Abraham, it was unjust treatment because of lust for his wife; for Jacob, it was justified anger for the cheat he was. In both stories, we find out that the fear was almost unjustified. The God that protected them occasions past continued to do so. In fact, he would have an easier time of it if these men had trusted him a little more. Instead he has to send prophetic dreams or literally wrestle with these guys to make their paths straight.

It caused me to reflect about what I'm afraid of. Certainly the future is uncertain, but am I afraid of it? Is it the uncertainty that I fear, or is it something deeper? A fear of failure? A fear of the opinions of others? A fear of living the kind of life I never wanted to live?

Just some thoughts that help me fill my word count for the day.