That is all.
Okay. Not really.
I started watching Mad Men today. I figure, hey, it's a thing. I should know about things.
One of the questions asked by the very dapper Don Draper in episode two is "What do women want?" Being a curious person, I asked my woman friend next to me the same question. Instead of answering it (how like a woman, amiright?), she turned it on me.
"What do men want?"
I thought for about 10 seconds. "To matter."
Not bad for a 10 second response, I think.
I look at myself and my friends and see a bunch of men striving to matter. We want to change the world. We want to be the world to someone. We want to advance our fields. We want to make a difference in the lives of those around us.
Even on the dark side of modern "manhood", I think my answer holds some water. Pornography lies to us by saying that we matter. The mindless pursuit of stuff is only a symptom of assigning "matter"-ful significance to material possessions. We get angry, prideful, jealous, and depressed when we think we don't matter as much as we want to.
Mattering is not just a achievement, either. I think we want to matter to someone. Many men's drive toward intimacy (false or true) is a cry that we want someone to depend on us, to love us, to think that we are significant and important.
But my original question still stands. What do women want? Is it the same thing that men want, or a slight variation or twist? Maybe something completely different?
Anyone out there have any thoughts on men or women and what we want? (Psst... This is where you can comment and we can discuss things.)
4 comments:
To be Known
When asked a question about how my day is, I can give a worthy response.
When asked the following day how that "situation" from the day prior panned out, my heart jumps, knowing that someone cared enough to listen and remember.
Perhaps what women want, what I want, is to be known. To be recognized as someone, not just something. To be acknowledged for who I am not what I do.
Well sir, I think the question you ask deserves to be answered.
As a woman, I really think we just avoid the question because most of us aren't sure how to respond, especially if we haven't thought about it.
But also as a woman, I think what any particular one of us wants depends entirely on--well, us.
You say you men want to matter. To change the world--to hold importance with another special individual.
What do women want? Well I don't know about other women I guess... I know there are women who want to raise families, or others that want adventure, or others that only want to be successful. I suppose this isn't all that different from your statement, but maybe a specific example might help.
I myself hold three real desires. To me, nothing else is important enough to make any sort of impact on my life.
The first, for me, is to know Jesus intimately. I already know that he knows me--so my only need there is to be with him as much as I can--learn what he wants to see out of my behavior and out of my relationships--the like.
The second one competes in importance for the third. I'd say they're at a tie, but perhaps they simply go hand-in-hand with each other. I want to see myself achieve my professional dream. I've known since seventh grade exactly what it is I've wanted to do, but it'll be no small feat to accomplish. What I want there is to overcome all obstacles and reach that goal--and from there, expand in achievement.
The third is the more complicated but most deeply rooted of all. I believe all women want this more than anything, but most aren't sure how to go about it. Yes, a Christian woman like myself has a glorious God to rely on, but one can't help but desire a human companion as well. Why shouldn't a woman be permitted the company of someone who shares interests or the same love for the same God? Some could argue this is the hardest desire to fulfill--but again, I suppose that depends on the person.
I hope that answers your question, though. All women want to be successful in their endeavors--who doesn't? But women also want to love, and to be loved for themselves. It's hard to fulfill all those dreams at once. Most women probably look for someone who fits in with their professional dream quite nicely.
But sometimes it doesn't always work out that way.
shoes
I think the thing that women want most out of life is to be loved. Not just by a man but by the ones around her. She wants to be loved by the ones she works with, by her friends and family, and by a man to call her own.
A quote that I feel is relevant is from Moulin Rouge and can be applied to men and women.
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."
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